When you’re not putting yourself out there, you’re rejecting yourself by default. — Jia Jiang
There is always risk when putting yourself out there, when striving to make your mark. There will always be someone ready to criticize.
With blogging or any kind of writing, whether it be on a social network or your own website, there will always be that one person who can’t wait to knock you down with a negative comment. They usually have no facts to back themselves up, or they are just voicing their own unhappy opinions. Either way, their negativity says more about them than it does you.
Oftentimes people will hide behind the anonymity of an online handle. What are they risking? Nothing. They are not the type of people who are willing to take a chance at trying something.
I am adamant on women not hiding. Women are 51% of the U.S. population according to the last census. Remember that. Women are the majority in this country. Yet we act as if we are a minority.
Use your voice. Develop the courage to put yourself out there. The alternative is that you may never accomplish anything…like the hateful commenters.
Know that when you do, people can be wonderful and people can be really mean. You can give your attention and focus to the negative, which will cause you to contract and pull back. Or you can place your attention where people love you. Don’t waste time and energy on the haters. There are plenty of people who love you and they are the ones who deserve your attention and what you have to offer.
The more you love and respect and believe in yourself, the less the haters will impact you. Yes, mean comments can be hurtful, and they are difficult to ignore. But it’s an opportunity for you to fall deeper in love with yourself and your message.
Haters are damaged. If you think about it they must be really hurting to view the world from that perspective.
You can choose to let the haters pull you down or you can choose to keep going about your business. Secretly those people admire you for bravely putting yourself out there. They wish they could be so bold. They are secretly being inspired by you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be on your site. I encourage you to keep going for it. Feel the discomfort and keep moving forward.
Without risks, there are no accomplishments. It is we, the risk-takers, who are leading the world. Not the haters, not the uninspired, not the bored, not the mean-spirited. It is we precious few, the dreamers, who dare to take action and are brave enough to put our ideas on a page. Keep putting yourself out there. Look back, not in anger, but in compassion. And look forward with an open heart.
I am finding that as I get older it’s easier for me to speak my mind. I can disagree politely and do what I feel is right. If someone doesn’t like me for it, that’s fine. Life is too short to be anything I’m not.
It took me a long time to learn to speak my mind. You’re right, there are polite ways to do it. Much nicer that way.
I’m not afraid to speak my mind. Sometimes, I end up with my huge foot in my mouth, so I do need to think before I speak/type! I want to make sure what I say means something and not just another voice making noise.
If only all blog commenters felt the same way. 🙂
Wow, Donna this is so true. Some days it’s hard to ignore the haters. And when we do…we win!
It can be hard to ignore. But it’s much worse if you try to answer them. We always win when we take the high road.
I just can’t figure out why some people have to be so negative and hateful to someone they’ve never met. Boggles my mind. They must be miserable and want everyone else to be miserable too.
Yes, it says more about them than it does us. I feel sorry for people who are that negative. It can’t be a pleasant way to live.
Such an inspirational post. Thank you, I once heard a quote and never forgot it. “Be with people who celebrate you and not tolerate you.” I always try to remember this.
Great advice. The good ones are worth our time.
Fear of negativity is one of the main reasons I’ve stalled so long in launching my business but I’ve finally gotten myself out of this rut and I’ve committed to keep moving. Other people may try to reject me for what I’m trying to do and they may not understand but at this point I’m in and I can’t worry about it anymore. This is on point!
Yes! You go, Tiffany. We’ll be here to support you.
The first time someone made a snarky comment on one of my posts, it felt like a punch in the gut. It was odd because others really loved the post. I just had to reason that this person was just grupmy. I live your advice. Thank you!
Sometimes I don’t think people realize how hurtful their words can be. Concentrate on the nice ones. 🙂
Absolutely! My own wise mom pointed out to me the other day (when I was wringing my hands about some negative Amazon reviews) that once you get to a certain exposure, the trolls come out to harass, degrade, and belittle whatever achievement you have put out. Their life is built to cut people down because they are afraid that people just like them will cut them down if they put anything out there. It gives them an excuse not to do anything.
Never late the haters get you down. Haters gonna hate.
Yep, when you start getting the haters, you know you’re making progress.